Weekly column featuring knee-jerk reactions (the best kind) to pop culture happenings all over the world.
The-Dream – “ROC”: A-
The-Dream’s long delayed fourth album is on the precipice, and I can’t wait. The interview he did for Complex confirms what I’ve believed all along: Terius Nash is a songwriter first, an artist second. As much as I love his studio albums, I have absolutely no desire to see the man tour. Also he looks like a big panda. Love his reasoning of not having to reinvent himself; since he’s writing for other people all the time he’s just adjusting his style to their needs.
“You’re not going to out write me.” That is bad ass.
Sophia Grace ft Nicki Minaj – “Super Bass”: C
I do not work in a secretary pool or as an office assistant so I unfortunately missed the original viral video of this 8 year old girl performing “Super Bass.” I’m glad the world decided to give this girl every single endorphin boost imaginable, sending her on national television in a pink princess dress and a tiara and meeting Nicki Minaj. And I’m glad Nicki told her to stay in school, though obviously the girl’s though process probably cycles through a PONIES SHINY NICKI MINAJ COOKIES sequence every 3 milliseconds.
So this can only go two ways right? She owns the spotlight, deals with the fame, becomes a talented artist and a powerful female role model. Or she gets her own E! reality tv show next week, her parents get divorced and fight for custody and she turns into an Anna Nicole Smith / Lindsay Lohan chimera-beast except TMZ’s blocked her phone number. Whatever, you can monetize either. Who wants to flip that coin?
Kids! Stop memorizing your times tables. Start memorizing the lyrics to “Same Girl” with your little brother. It’ll serve you a lot better in the future economy.
Usher & Diplo – “Climax”: A
Don’t feel bad, Andrew. When a man and a woman love each other very much, sometimes Usher sings a song about it and the world is a better place. And sometimes Diplo hangs around a lot of cool African and Korean people and then becomes a better artist for it. Just sit back, relax and try not to get too pregnant.